Nobody anymore (with the exception of some people over in Texas, Oklahoma, and the Fox News building) really believes that our next president is a secret Muslim. But let’s look at the reasons why our Barack is actually Jewish at heart, or, at the least, a sympathizer with the tribe:
1. He was mainly raised in a high-rise apartment by alte kackers who called him “Barry.”
2. His zayde was a furniture salesman and his bubbe worked in a bank. Sound familiar?
3. The name of the chief architect of his presidential campaign? David Axelrod. A card-carrying Yid born on the Lower East Side.
4. His incoming Chief of Staff? Rahm Emanuel, a Hebrew-speaking son of an Israeli fighter with the Irgun. ‘Nuff said.
5. He won Florida handily even without the help of that schmuck Lieberman. Boca Raton and Boynton Beach came through in the end.
6. Barack, Baruch…what’s the difference?
7. He wrote a book about his family.
8. His wife has a cousin who’s a rabbi in Chicago.
9. His family home in Chicago is across the street from a synagogue.
10. He went to Jerusalem, prayed at the Western Wall and left a message there (which was promptly retrieved and placed on the Internet, oy, such a shondeh)
[Note: Unlike most of this kind of stuff that circulates on the Internet, I composed most of this email myself…it’s probably 70 percent original, so sue me]
*For the terminally serious, anti-semites, racists and assorted Nader and Ron Paul supporters reading this: This post is an attempt at humor. I like Barack Obama, voted for him with enthusiasm, and don’t really believe he’s Jewish. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (either being Jewish or not being Jewish). OK?